back when i first decided to go back to freelancing, i had this half-formed idea that things would be different — as in i would have more time to go anywhere i want, whenever i want. hah! big, hairy deal.

these days, i no longer have to hurry to be at a certain place at a certain time, of course, yet my routine has essentially remained the the same. the bulk of my time is still spent on work. (yes, those deadlines! ugh.) and there’s only so much you can do even if you have resources and the willingness to do certain things.

anyways, these past few weeks i’ve done a few things that i would have hard-pressed to do if i hadn’t made the switch. one of them was watching my favorite stage musical (Cats!) with a bunch of friends. for some reason though, my largely fluid schedule has made me appreciate my past regimented routine, especially those parts that i like best. like the time we had our company outing at Momarco Resort a couple of years ago.

well, it wasn’t exactly an exemplary vacation spot, and the customer service wasn’t all that great either. still, it felt like one of the things that one would actually care to remember when you have all the time in the world. i still have the pictures at any rate, so i guess that helps.

***i was rifling through my old posts at my other site (Recyled Thoughts) last week when i stumbled into something that i wrote about 3 years ago. and since Father’s day is just a few hours away, it seemed appropriate to repost it here (with a few changes)***

for a long while now i have managed to resist the temptation to write event-themed posts (valentine, new year, mother’s day, christmas), partly because i didn’t want the predictability ‘tag’ hanging on my coattails and partly because i have this perverse tendency to buck the trend.

the last few days, however, have made me realize that even my conversations lately have rarely touched on my father… so, i’m going to bend my rule for a bit and muse about him.

my father, like most men of his generation, was of the old school — you know, the stern stoic and undemonstrative but responsible-to-the-hilt type. he was content to let my mother manage the household, but whenever he decided to put his foot down we all toed the line (although there were times when my mother, with her subtle ways, could actually make him change his mind without him being aware of it).

whenever he laid down one of his decisions, his voice sounded like the crack of doom, and us kids would react accordingly. his decrees, which rang with quiet authority, had the imposing air and the constitutional mandate of the Ten Commandments, and we all knew better than to argue or whine. The judge hath spoken…

my father, despite his crusty exterior, had his “soft” side, too. on rare occasions he would set aside his serious respectable self and play with us. and he liked to see us screaming in glee as we feasted on his pasalubong whenever he came back from one of his out-of-his-town trips. the one scene that has stuck with me all these years was my father sitting in his favorite chair in a corner with this mellow look on his face as he watched us stuffing our faces with food and playing with the toys he brought.

but as we grew older he got more serious. it wasn’t until i was in high school that we really began to connect again, just around the time when i finally learned to express myself without sounding like a total idiot. he had no clear favorite among us but i was the one that he could really talk to. at first it was just small, inconsequential things; as time went on, we began discussing about issues (political and social). our favorite topics were history, military hardware and music (he was a part-time member of a local orchestra). the funny thing is that although he’s good with musical instruments (guitar, trumpet, trombone), we have never heard him sing. ever.

want to hear another ironic thing? my mother is tone-deaf — to the point that it’ll hurt your ears just to hear her relentlessly belt out a tune. it doesn’t stop her from trying though, and we’ve all learned to live with it. tatay just smiles at our hilarious complaints, and to this day i have yet to hear him comment on nanay’s voice.

once, a friend asked him pointblank to define the best thing he has ever achieved in life. after a silent minute he replied, “my children, i think. they’re my best investment. whatever they’ll accomplish, that’s the interest i’ve earned.”

thanks ‘tay. happy father’s day.

as 2009’s last breath slowly peters out, i managed to find the time to go online before the noise outside (firecrackers, sirens, horns, etc.) claims my wayward attention.

oddly enough, i actually managed to finish all my chores before 11:00pm — which i could never quite manage in the past few years — and now i find myself a loose end. there’s only a couple of hours left until it’s 2010 in our corner of the globe. usually i feel kind of nostalgic for the preceding year whenever new year’s eve rolls in, but now i can hardly wait until it’s 2010.

i think it’s not only me who feels this way. i guess in many ways, 2009 has been an uneasy year for so many of us — for personal, economic, career, political and other reasons. and even though there aren’t too many signs to indicate that 2010 will be a great year, just the chance of making a fresh start is enough to make me look ahead in anticipation — not with blind optimism, of course, but a kind of hopeful expectation.

it doesn’t really matter what comes next. just the possibility of finding something better is enough for now.

Happy New Year everyone, wherever you are. go easy on the bubbly and those firecrackers. and may 2010 be a kinder, luckier year for us all.

i guess, i’ve done it again. last year, i remember griping about the hot, steamy days that never seemed to end (yes, it’s a yearly thing for me), wishing fervently for the rains to come — and got more than i bargained for.

well… this time, i basically went through the same rigmarole and got the same results, albeit at a milder dose. barely a few days after i had posted a couple of entries about the weather — it actually rained!

the first couple of days, things were fine. we heaved a sigh of relief (and i did a couple of celebratory cheers when no one was looking). then an office mate started to complain, because apparently the sudden and unexpected change in the weather was literally making her sick. not that it bothered me, that is, until somebody pointed out that our summer outing was only two days away.

and like a well-timed ironic turn of events, it rained hard during the day of our company outing! we assembled around 5:30am, and as luck would have it, our bus arrived late because the driver had apparently misinterpreted our instructions — he actually waited for us at a different place!

as we headed towards Subic (By the Sea beach resort), the sky darkened although it was still hot at this time. to top it all, i had a hard time keeping myself awake because i hadn’t slept the night before. by the time we reached our destination we were all tired, hungry and a bit cranky. things felt better after we caught a glimpse of the water, though.

so, there we were, basically swimming, eating, and taking respite from the rain by turns. talk about a real damper! finally around 12:30pm, i could hardly keep my eyes open so i excused myself to sleep in one of the rooms that had been rented for our use. Two hours later, i headed back to the cluster of cottages that been assigned to us (it was raining again). the games were over, and everybody decided to ignore the rain and bathed to their hearts’ content.

we left around 6:30pm. *sigh* this was supposed to be a fun day at the beach. instead, i spent it sleeping, taking shelter from the rain, eating, and getting stuck in the traffic (on our way back). a nice way to learn a lesson about being careful what to wish for…