throughout the years, one of the best and most difficult lessons i have learned was to know when to let go and walk away. now, walking away from things — depending on your viewpoint — may seem more difficult or easier than it sounds, but it works wonders for for your bruised spirit and peace of mind.

i began to understand the value of walking away back when i was in high school, when a person who was quite close to me, who was supposed to be my ‘best’ friend, pushed me down just when i least expected it (for whatever reason that continues to baffle me until today).

this started when our school principal (Sister J.) decided to establish a school paper, and was about to name its editorial staff and adviser. i knew i was one of those being considered because it was discussed openly, and i was excited naturally. right from the get-go i knew i wasn’t going (nor did i aspire) to be its editor-in-chief — i was too erratic and gung-ho, and frankly i wasn’t ready for the responsibility. also, i thought that my friend deserved that post and expected her to bag it easily.

so you can imagine the shock and hurt i felt when i overheard my friend telling our adviser that instead of being managing/associate editor, i would be more suited as illustrator (which surprised our adviser). hello?! from managing or associate editor to illustrator? talk about a huge fall from grace! and this came from a friend?

i was upset, to say the least. we both knew (and the class, too) that english (particularly writing) was one area i was good at, and i was going to end up as an illustrator? granted, i could draw, but at a drop of hat instead of being part of the editorial staff i was summarily relegated to being a hanger-on? what the heck was that? i avoided my friend after that, and made up my mind to refuse whatever they offered me.

it took a while for us to reconcile (after many overtures from her part), but i never really trusted her completely after that.

the funny thing was that the plans for the school paper project were eventually scrapped by our principal because it was going nowhere.

years later, when we were all in college (i made the editorial staff of our college paper without any trouble), another friend — let’s call her tracy — bitterly confided to me that our “mutual” HS friend had done something to piss her off royally. i didn’t think it was such a big deal then, but i noticed that even over the years, tracy would often reopen this topic with unabated bitterness. once, she even asked me how i was able to get over what our mutual friend had done to me during high school.

right then i realized that i had almost forgotten that incident, and that i had actually gotten over it. as a consequence, i had this sort of cathartic closure from the incident even though i had not even discussed it with my friend. in contrast, tracy, who was still clearly not over their “own” incident, was still bitter over it and could not move on. walking away helped me get over my own sense of bitterness because it did not necessarily require forgiveness; rather, it merely needed acceptance on my part — acceptance of my own limitations and those of my friend’s. and the fact that i didn’t really need that kind of validation to recognize my own worth.

i’m not saying it’s easy — it never is. but walking away allowed me to move on and seek other paths without having to confront my friend (we were too young to realize it). i don’t think we can ever go back to the way we were, but at least we can move and grow in other directions.

thanks to a resourceful office mate (domo arigato, charles), i finally had my hands on a copy of the recently concluded 7th season of 24.

i’ve just seen the first 4 episodes, and right now i’m feeling toasty warm (snug like a rug in a bug) and giddy from watching jack bauer (kiefer sutherland) committing his usual acts of mayhem. and it’s nice to see the old gang back together again — jack, bill buchanan, tony almeida and chloe o’brian — only this time the CTU is disbanded, and this time they’re working outside of the government’s aegis.

if only i had no work tomorrow, i’d be burning my eyes out and watching the rest of the episodes until i finish the whole season. as things stand, i guess i must make do with speculation and anticipation…

Throughout the years, I have had a few teachers that I particularly liked and admired because of their singular qualities and/or unique teaching style, which made the learning process enjoyable and stimulating, and a few who made me wish i was somewhere else instead. This realization only crystallized when I actually graduated from college because by then I was old enough to acknowledge and appreciate how this or that particular teacher had shaped (consciously or unconsciously) the way I think and look at things.

For some reason, the mentor that I remember most (with fondness and gratitude) was my high school English teacher.

There was nothing physically remarkable or intimidating about Ms. Talon. She barely topped 5 feet and had a retiring nature that belied her quick intellect. She dressed neatly and rarely drew attention when she walked down the halls. Yet, when she spoke to us in her soft, cultured voice, the whole class strained forward to listen. She was well-read, knew her subject inside and out, and she spoke without a trace of accent. Above all, she never made us feel insecure or embarrassed as we grappled to learn the basics in English — thereby earning our undying loyalty and affection. She would correct us gently, flashing her encouraging smile even as we mangled our similes and metaphors. She never raised her voice in disgust. Not that she had to. A mild reproof from her hurt worse than a public tongue-lashing.

Ms. T, who was in her middle 20s when we first knew her, had a gift for storytelling. With few, well-chosen words, she would reduce thick, intimidating classics (Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Wuthering Heights, Vanity Fair) into something that we could actually understand or identify with. In fact, she was the main reason why most of us turned to reading and literature as a way to improve ourselves and to discover the hidden delights of being able to read, write, and speak English well.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have her for long. A year later, her family relocated to a distant town. For a few days we wandered around in shock, loudly exclaiming against the injustice of it all. I remember clearly the day she left, because it was the only time I saw several people, including a couple of school trouble-making hotheads, actually blubber while some of us pretended we had the ’sniffles’.

We never saw her again after that, although occasionally snippets of how she was doing in her new school would filter down to us. We used to pretend she just went away for a long, indefinite vacation, and that one day she would appear in front of the class and tell us to “open your books and go to page 112, and discuss how…”

as i was preparing to leave the office earlier, i ran a cursory glance through Entertainment news headlines. a couple of lead-ins caught my eye:
** the 7th season of 24 has finally aired — yay! (note to self: must find a DVD copy of all those 7th season episodes asap)
** Fox TV has officially pulled the plug on Sarah Connor Chronicles (SCC) — sheesh.

rather to my chagrin, i managed to plow through a couple of paragraphs regarding 24’s season finale, which — as you might guess — was full of spoilers. good thing i managed to close that window before i got down to the gritty details. still, i’ll be watching out for downloaded copies of those episodes (TPS!!! *wink, wink*) with bated breath.

incidentally, kiefer sutherland’s latest brush with the law hasn’t turned me off from watching the guy strut his stuff as the redoubtable jack bauer. it made me smile though.

after two seasons, Fox TV has finally axed the highly regarded Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles (which stars Lena Headey). i know these things happen every once in a while in the cutthroat world of entertainment, but i find it rather sad that it has to happen now, just when Terminator: Salvation is about to hit the theaters. aaach!

when SCC impending closure was leaked several weeks ago, i had been hoping against hope that Fox would reconsider its decision but it looks like the die is cast. oh man.